This post was written back in june09. When I just operated and was stuck at home. So I decided to write up this LONG LONG COMPOSITION. So treat it like its posted ard june. Ok?
I have missing out on a lot of things but of course, I am out of Singapore for like days. No, months! I can’t even type as fast right now. Lol! I’ll be crapping as usual, so if you dun wanna read my grandmother stories, please wait patiently for my picture spams in days to come ;] //warning-this is seriously freakin` long like super uber~ [5 pages!!!!] so stop here if u don’t wanna continue. Ok, I have returned as a changed person. I had an makeover, not exactly on my face but inner beauty, haha! My heart is all patched up! not that its broken because of some sad love story. Through this entry, I might land myself in deep shiat but who cares, we live in a democratic society, and I am only stating the facts anywayz. Facts and reasons, why Singapore is so much poorer in so many things. Or maybe just one thing, I cant find a word to describe this thing due to my limited vocab, so u figure our yourself.
Many are bewildered why in the world I went to Bangkok for my opt. { I want a sex change, that’s y~ haha! } isn’t Singapore good enf? Singapore is definitely not good enf! They are only good at showing off those little things they did, those minor break through/s, being the first in Asia and bla blas. Wads the use of showing off when they had so much failures?! Those problems left unsolved. But on the other hand, who would admit these unstated failures, they will be labeled with dirty names. I’m one problem they left unsolved. I’m labeled as well, with such a profound name, Ebstein Abnomaly. LOL! A doctor once told me unborn babies detected with my case, in Singapore, are aborted str8away and stated as miscarriage. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?! Lucky I’m born in those olden days when I’m not being detected. Doctors also say people like me won’t survive 3-4months after birth, even if they did, they won’t last after 3 or 4 yrs old. Wads with the 3 and 4? I’M NOW 21 !!!!! or maybe 2+1=3, this is wad they mean. Addition to that, kids with heart problems are usually small sizes, like thin and short. Hello?~ although I’m not tall, TALL but I’m still over 160 near 170 ok~~~ argh! Thank my parents, families, those who love me for praying for me, and allowing me to grow to this date. THANK YOU THANK YOU!
I was thrown around the hospitals of Singapore since born, born in a neighborhood hospital, put into the incubator, not because I’m premature, was later transferred to the government’s hospital, TTS. Where years, I have been a study material for doctors studying cardiology, yet for 15 years! There wasn’t any solution to me, this PROBLEM! {till now, there still isn’t any solution} I was just a little girl then, when everytime I went for my regular checkups, multiple doctors or interns, mostly males would surround me, and those things wad u call `em? Those thingys tt hang over doctors’ neck. So cold when it came contact with my skin. Then after, I got transferred again to KK hospital. And one day I fell ill, high fever which lasted for days already, my mum was so scared it would affect my heart, we went to KK so tt I could admit into the hospital, they said, I’m already over 16, I can’t stay in KK. WAD THE HELL?! I’M DYING ALREADY! Then one REALLY REALLY, I MEAN REALLLLLY good doctor hurried those nurses to get me an ambulance and took me to SGH. Those nurses, omygoodness, there is just no words to describe them. That’s the time when KK took the chance to “throw” me away. I asked my regular doctor who have been seeing me since born, he works in KK, why m I transferred. He said, really nicely though, you are too old already. Then I asked, then those other patients having heart problems like me, do they get thrown away when they are too old, like I did? He said, no, they have already recovered by then. I was like “WTH”! but this doctor who took care of me since young is really very nice, although he didn really did much or maybe just cos Singapore they dunno how to. Hmm. Wadever. This doctor was Professor Cheng, thats wad everybody greets him. He is really really nice. Ok that’s not wad this post is about. Let me continue.
And so nothing was done, or even tried on me. It was only regular checkups which always conclude the same way. “No changes, you can go back now”. AND I’M PAYING MORE THAN 50 BUCKS every 6 months just to hear this shiat! So then, my godmother told me to visit the hospital in Bangkok, it’s the govt’s hosp actually. Doctors there are well-experienced and took care of the royal family. So I went for my first check up in Thai. It was interesting. Although the machines aren’t as advanced as Singapore, but doctors are sharper! My granny, who also have heart problem, did the check up with me, when both our ECGs got switched by the nurse. Then it was consultation time. The doctor examined me first when my granny was waiting outside. She listened to my heartbeat and observed the ECG. She was frowning, looking it extra carefully when she dashed out and questioned the nurse bla bla. Then my granny thought it was her turn, she came in with her file with “her” ECG then. The doctor returned and asked me to hold on while we wait for the nurse. Meantime, she checked on my granny. Then she realized both our ECGs got switched. I wonder will Singapore doctors do that? Or they just dun give a hack. Oh ya, FYI, checkups in Thailand [govt hospitals tt is] are FOC! Yet they are so detailed. OMGawd~
I’m a regular of hospitals and comparing Singapore’s to Thailand’s, it’s basically hell and heavens apart. And I mean it! In hospitals, nurses always have to take your temperature and blood pressure etc regularly and usually these are the times when u are the most tired, when you are about to sleep, when you are about to have some quiet time, when you are the most vexed. Nurses in Singapore, they don’t give a damn, they just come in, swing the thermometer and expect you to just automatically open ur mouths and stick right into it. But in Thailand, they greet you first, tell you is temperature taking time, smiling! Then “ah” then put in inside ur mouth. They just sort of treat every patient like a baby. I mean I know I’m not a baby and should understand that this is just a small thing, why make it a fuss, right? But since it’s such a small matter, why can’t those nurses show some courtesy? They can’t even do such a small thing right, how can they do much bigger things? But I gotta emphasize not all nurses in Singapore are tt bad, there are still nice ones just that most of the time, I saw the bad. The nice things they do, its hmm, too minor to actually worth flashing back. Call me unlucky~ but do observe if *choy choy* by any chance u land urself in the hospital. I seriously would still prefer thai’s. I’m not being brainwashed ok but this is the fact. Hospitals are very expensive hotels and Singaporeans pay huge amounts checking into local hospitals and not getting the treatment they deserve. Whereas in Thailand, you pay a cheaper price but, you get first class service and you really do get some rest, you really do recover. Whereas, in Singapore, all you get is frustration and wanting to go home faster so maybe that’s why patients still do recover even though they aren’t very well taken care of.
There’s this one time when I visited my Dad in hospital (Singapore). I was near the nurses’ station, when there are around 3 nurses, mostly females, and a doctor explaining the x-ray film to a patient. This is wad I saw, the doctor was trying so hard to explain to the patient, not because the patient couldn’t understand, it was because the nurses were TOO LOUD! Talking, chit-chatting and bla bla. Its so rude, & they still say patients need some rest, and u know wad, I was inside my father’s room and I could hear those nurses outside talking so loudly. & god their faces carry no smiles! Ya I know being a nurse is a hard-core job, but since u take up tt job, do it properly. To me those nurses are as if wearing those uniforms just for decoration, just for showing off! Since like nurses are very well~~-respected.
Back to the checkups, checkups aren’t the only thing that is FOC, doctors in this particular hospital I live in, don’t get paid too. They sort of volunteer themselves. These are what you call doctors man. Not exactly those doctors you pay aren’t good, they are good if they really do check on you, tell you what to do, instead of just asking you wads the problem and then prescribe you with medicine when sometimes you don’t even get to know wads the cause of the pain. Wads the use of seeing the doctor when you only get medicine, you can be a doctor yourself when you have tons of medicine backup in your fridge. Sometimes I think is medicine that cause all these drama. Wad swine flu, SARS bla bla.
My surgeon wasn’t paid a cent for operating on me, for advising me etc. The only thing my family had to pay was the hospital fees etc. But despite tt, my surgeon was like a father to me. He was a father to everybody else. You may think I’m exaggerating. But whatever~ During my first surgery back in 2004, he was also my surgeon, the number of times I see him was countable using my hands but everytime I see him, it sort of gave me the calm feeling, its like as though, oyay I will be fine. He doesn’t talk much but he speak good English! He was very serious actually and warned me not to gain too much weight, avoid this and that. And 2004 was the year I learn more about my own condition. Despite I was already 15, and other than knowing I have a heart problem commonly known as heart murmur, theres nothing more. This doctor, Dr Somthaij {this is the wrong spelling, sry I cant pronounce thai very well}, he spend like half an hour explaining to me then another half explaining to the rest of my family, and many following halfs to even more people. LOL! Wait! Do Singapore doctors do that?! NO! that’s why I only know my condition when I’m 15 ALREADY! Coming back, so this time, after I had my operation, after multiple hold backs, on 18June`09, I was pushed to the ICU. I woke up, without a thought, I asked the nearest nurse, I wanted water! & more water. Then my family came in 2 by 2 to see me. Then when it got later, my surgeon came to check on me and many of his other patients. I wasn’t the only one who he operated that day. But despite how tired he was, he stayed till pretty late. How would I know? Because it was already after midnight and I couldn’t fell asleep. He came to check on me multiple times, talk to me telling me how lucky I was when he opened up my heart and found this huge hole hiding behind my valve, and now it’s all patched up, valve fixed etc, when my doctor in Singapore told me, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIX, I WAS FIXED, ok?! Ok, then my surgeon told me to get some sleep. When I couldn’t he told the nurse to gave me some sleeping pills instead because I seriously need some sleep, he said. But I know you are thinking, wth? Aren’t sleeping pills bad? But come to think about it, I’m in great pain and I have like tubes inserted in multiple areas of my body causing me to be stationary. Sleep is the best option right?
Back in 2004, the day after my surgery, my surgeon was amazed by my speedy recovery and said I could get out of ICU. I’m telling you, ICU is HELL. U hear noises everywhere, you cant get sleep, sometimes u might even cry. Because you are not the only one suffering in this whole wide world. The little baby beside, caged in by the machines and tubes. The ever coughing old man, coughing so hard. You really will think how lucky you are that you can still hear and see all these things. So my surgeon got me out of ICU, its another hell after that {but I wont talk about it here }. Now in 2009, despite how late my surgeon stayed till, the day before, he got to the ICU early morning with many other doctors or interns and checked on everyone of us. He explained to his students each and every case etc. then after that he got me out of ICU first thing after his lecture. Back in my ward, this time, it was rather weird or maybe he knew my character as a lion, he became a lion as well. Or maybe he is one. He visited me the same day I was released from ICU, he came, talk a while, and asked me to try and get out of bed myself and walk around the room. Everyone in the room was like STUN! Me as well, so is the doctor who came along with my surgeon. Hmm, then it was all eyes on me. First task was to trY to sit up. It was OMTTTT! The doctor tried to lend a hand but was stopped by my surgeon. Ok~ then I tahan tahan, JYJY and YEAH! I DID IT! Even I think it’s a miracle. WOW~ and all the credits goes to the team of wonderful doctors and those who prayed for me. Thank you thank you~ My surgeon then said, good good, exercise etc. He even joked that I could go shopping the following day. He told me to eat more, so that my organs can get to work.
Every day, the cardiologist would come to check on me while my surgeon was too busy to come visit. But he did make regular phone calls to the nurses to ask about my condition. Then one day when he had the chance he came and visit. He told me I’m making good progress and told me I could return to Singapore. He told me to photocopy my operation documents and give it to Singapore. I was thinking, how nice he is to actually share his “secret” to those ignorant human beings of Singapore, who doesn’t want to admit defeat, oways claming best. Arghhhhh! I’m not nice, I don’t even plan to give those documents to Singapore, who knows one day, when Singapore happen to have another my case, they use it and claim it theirs. ARGHHHHH! & another thing that touched me was, my surgeon actually told me to not come back to Bangkok, don’t spend all those money flying here and there just for him to check for 5 minutes. Its like oh my, he wasn’t paid for operating on multiple patients and yet he spare a thought for us. Asking us to save up those money, save the time and energy. Do Singapore do that? NO!!!! NO! NO!!!! Singapore would make you come back for regular checkups to hear the same old thing, and then spend 50+ bucks when nothing is really done, I wasn’t advise, instead, I was demoralized! Whoo~ that rhythms.
Back to my surgeon, ok like I said he wasn’t paid. I was wondering how he survive so this is just my guess. He is old and very well respected person. Best in the hospital stated by many doctors and hospital frequents. He teaches, gives lecture so maybe this is how he earn a living. Private hospitals hire him as well, since like his da best and all but yet he spend most of his time in the govt hospital which doesn’t pay him much. He is like freakin busy but yet he doesn’t seem to be tired at his current age. He is 60+ btw. I think I’m really lucky to have such a person curing me and saving my life. Thank you very much.
I have been venting out my anger, and made you suffer by reading such a long passage. But seriously, sometimes thinking about all these things just make me hate Singapore so much. The only thing that make me want to love Singapore is my home. I think the only thing Singapore is missing would be passion. Hold on, hmm maybe they have passion, passion to make money and that’s it. Not passion for their jobs! They are just making use of their occupation to get closer to the numbers that follow behind the dollar sign. Argggggh.
All that’s mentioned above might change your concept about Singapore and bla bla because of my criticisms and personal opinion. It might even gain your sympathy but don’t mind it. Right now I might just wanna save my own ass from getting behind bars. So ya. Think about the big picture and don’t compare this and that. Its not about how bad Singapore is or, how good is the doctor who saved my life, its about getting things done the right way. But its usually easier said than done. Like I oways wanted to remove all these grandmother stories but I always end up with long compositions. I think after reading this, if you actually read everything, its better that you analyze, observe things your own, because I might be wrong. No one is perfect~ but to me I’ll still stay thinking tt way. I’m still curious did Singapore actually tried to cure me?
