today i should just be the usual me when with the excos; quiet, minding my own business. but something went wrong to me. i dunno what happen. after i came back from home and even on my way home. i thought and thought and it goes on till i just drop on my bed having an eyesore and headache after that. today, usual meeting discussion & stuff. today i kept on talking and talking and seriously i dunno how to stop. i kept on making noise which i dun usually would. today i'm a nuisance. something just happened to me. suddenly i can talk so smoothly, so call. i seem to trash out more than i usually would in front of people. tho it may seem to be a good thing but omg sth just went wrong. i said things which i dun usually say. i said things which shldnt come out from my mouth. it shld be others saying it instead. or even if nobody says, i will just shut up. i wont voice out or sth. just shut up! today suddenly, i feel too loose or sick or something, i feel today i am more LION than ever before. abit too much that i am scared of myself. why is that? what happen. today tho i am in school, back home, alot of things are happening. i cant be bothered. those problems always seems to never disappear. i hate the current state of me. was doing pub stuff. suddenly went blank, was chatting, but couldnt multi task and start with anything with photoshop. i got no idea how to start AT ALL ! i got myself into one piece again and just dump in wadever i can. nothing comes out. or alot of things came out, but they just suck big time! once again, my brain cells, or my "photoshop machine" just malfunctioned/went for vacation. i continued. managed to get something. send to some ppl for commenting. jewelry said its not the usual impact. my heart sunk! but i still strive for the quality altho some parts of my body is giving up on me. this malfunction didn just happen today, it happened yesterday. this is most prob the fifth time it pang seh me. i spend 4 hours trying to photoshop at least a tiny icon. but failed and failed badly. something is really happening to me i just dunno what. then suddenly tears flow down. again i dunno wad happen to me. i told shifu, suddenly i feel so stress. i dunno why. i kept crying and crying. and i cried harder and harder. and went to the loo again due to the wrong timing of my medication. came back photoshopped something for this post. actually i wanted to blog about ice cream. but deviantart didn give in. all the images sucks. then i browse my own collection to find a simple mag scan. i knew it malfunctioned. i knew but i just continued. suddenly, it begins, i just clicked and clicked. photoshop wasnt nice. it hanged my com numerous times. i learnt sth new despite those hangings. so the stress was for better. but i couldnt understand why i cried. what is happening to me?