o first thing, i switch the locations for the tagboard and the advertisements. sry for any inconvenience. i also find it real weird n so out of place but haiz i have to~ sry!

well i think cos of my previous post, i receive alot of attention. be it good or bad. thanks to FMO publication! thanks to EXCOs! thanks to my SENIORS! thanks to my FRIENDS! thanks to my JUNIORS! your care and concern really make a difference. rest assure that i m really fine now. cos i blurt it all out on the blog so ya m relaxed, m cool too! really thank you! & its gonna be long again, sorry!

the last post is just a common practice of mine. i did like many times b4. trashing it out ALL OUT~ well this time has gotta be the most serious one. so i guess the outcome, the consequences, the price to pay is doubled or even tripled. expected that. this just a bad habit of mine. though i felt better, but i was just being selfish. just a moment of anger, all gone all ends. but i'm still as stubbon and still not regretting it. ppl asked why am i doing this? what am i trying to do? trying to prove what a brilliant person or like those are mention, prefects? what do i gain? all these questions startled me but cool~ i have no reasons. i just wanna trash it out. i m not a coward. if ppl claim that i am just a coward just blogging these out, ask ard. in real life, i scold like this as well. i think the previous post doesnt targets only BO pub and also quite number of ppl ba. because of it, back to the qn, i have gained nothing. i lost even more. i lost friends. some true friends. just cos i am so stubborn so stupid to uphold those values that i believe is true. i think in future sth really need to happen to me to make me change the way i feel. hoping till then its not too late. i thought of this when i was chatting with gy. gy thanked me. i think i shld thank him too.

i learn it the hard way, i want those ard me to learn it in a easier way. its just vulgarities, its just a tone, it already killed so many. imagine, you end up in hospital, end up being punished, end up doing numerous killer push ups, end up fainting in the toilet. it did not happen to some, but it did happen to those some that the some dislike. some say its just a waste of time, you have gained nothing. is the way we teach or the way you learn? both right, both wrong. we teach, are you willing to learn? you learn but isit too late for us to teach? are we really at the wrong? yes. because it takes 2 hands to clap. no. i m perfect, don't touch me! this is so confusing.

do you love those who support you? yes! they support you to rebel, to go against, to scold, to trash it out. u thought for a moment. wow~ i have such good companions, i m not fighting the war on my own. but why? when i am all out, those support, those cheering are just coming from a distance? only when i fought till the end, and they c a change which is to their advantage, they get out from their shields and cheer louder. but think, really think, one is all alone. really alone. the biggest enemy is just opposite of you in the mirror. BUT but but. they say one for all all for one. without them you wont even step out that first step. you are for them, they are for the only you. again! so confusing. humans are such poor beings. they dislike being said they are at the wrong, neither do they like ppl say they are right maybe? it may seems fake, the inner voice tells you. we just dont realise our mistakes. because the more you go on with life, you have made plenty. charlene wants to dream. charlene needs a shrink! charlene WAKE UP!

stories, blog posts written on their blogs, i just purposely want to see their reaction? or am i simply caring? whats the real me? you define me. because words, talks just make mistakes, scars deeper. i cant stop them like how they cant stop me. i support those ppl to trash it all out on their blogs. because its their rights, its their privacy. only one can control this one, you yourself and i. am i trying to please when i support you? am i trying fake that comment i made on you? am i trying to be a lousy bitch who just dont realise my mistakes and how much i know i have hurt you but i just want to hurt you more so that i am protected? am i am i am i? define, explain, elaborate. my english sucks! gy told me if u gonna please all the ppl, you will end up pleasing none. so was it my mistake to try to care altho i said i will not? doubting my words. i think many does. i dont please. i m still a selfish bitch. i want to please myself. how sick am i~ good deeds are forgotten, humans only rmb how they are harmed most of the time. is that true? ppl tried to explain, but it ends up explaining more and more. so is my another mistake for trying to explain? people wants to forget it, so should i too? inner voice : YES ! do you have a inner voice?

thanks to those who admit you hate me or still hating me. i am quite honoured actually. at least u bothered to hate me. well i just want to say for me to hate somebody isnt easy. cos i dont hate ppl. it just makes me pay more attention to somebody i dun like. so i say it str8, YES! i dun like you but i still like you thats y i hate. this is how i define hate. and i hate alot of people. that includes my family. sad, to say this huh~

& ppl say we S.I.T. Club ppl shld get a life. on the behalf of 28 other ppl, and oso the ogls who stayed on thruout or who think the same. WE HAVE A LIFE! do you think there will be a chance where friends come tgt to do props, paint big backdrops, talk to suppliers face to face. go thru those proposal stages. and harsh vetting sessions? we may suffer but at least we stayed on. we did not give up. not giving up is a living! only those who cant find a life in S.I.T. Club has no life ! cos

1. u dunno how to get a life from this life.
2. u give up so damn easily like you will in future.
3. u wanna quarrel with me cos i said these things.
4. u dun appretiate the experience.
5. u dunno how to define life which actually u are alive.
6. u must be dead not realising you have a life.

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