mylittle.crazy ❤

beautiful skies 20080720

TODAY'S STATE : DEAD! not high at all~ 为何~
i must bring back my highness! PHOTOSHOP !!! let me just shut up for now~

#1. going home

#2. double layer. singapore flyer { <- got spell wrong ? }

#3. i just had to spoil the damn nice picture >.<

#4. in the end tio DETENTION! 可怜oh~

today got meeting, updates, talk talk talk. DAMN I AM SO PROUD OF PUBLICATION!! whoo~ &then today DOWN 4 chapters of COMPUTER GRAPHICS! oyesh! love the clubroom sounds systems&speakers! slacking talk crap. go home. EAT 火锅! IS 爽 DE LOR! on laptop. do this do that. NOW END POST! do work! & yeash HATE THIS PROJECT ! i will get lost now~

1:06:00 AM

i want to shop!!! 20080715

m so hooked on blogging these days. m exceptionally high these days esp during the nights. m so not hardworking these days. M SCREW LOOSE~ WHOO! today {mon150708} i took public transport 2 sch. I DID A GOOD DEED ! i offered my seat to an old lady. she look so sweet when she smiled back! ok tts nth 2 b proud of cos tons of ppl r doing the same thing. but is a happy thing 2 talk ab :)
boarded the train aft city hall. saw one hot mama~ she has a punkish hairdo, not overboard, acceptable, looks nice on her! so scan fr top to toe. hair dyed in copper, {damn! i luv tt color, if its on my hair, i sure'll luv it more} wearin sunglasses. COOL ! those big big ones, halftone black&brown. blends wf her skin quite well. then clothes, white top- shirt, wf black pants. slick! shoes, those normal kind u find in BATA {buy&throwaway, opps!} & then!!!!! O TELL ME THOSE ARENT WAD I SEE!!! omg!!!!! everything just ROCK ON HER! & THOSE GREENIES JUST NEED TO PEEP UP TO BREATHE~ she had those lime green nail polish on her toes! she can afford those sunglasses, hair dyes, salon sessions & she cant go have a decent pedicure~ WTH! lol i m so evil! but SHE ROCKS MAN! those nail polish really suits her age anywayz~

ALBUM RELEASE : July 15^th, 2008 at 3pm {korean time?}

tho i not a fanatic~ but i'm still a fan. heh heh! "collected" all her solo albums, LIKE DUH I'M GONNA MAKE THIS MINE! ok her songs are so so~ i would prefer her first album. but come on man, shes like near her 30s & she's still rocking the stage, making antis hate her more with the wrong reasons & of course GUYS DROOLING EVEN MORE! girls envy her~ plus u gonna respect that who take cares of her body that well till ppl actually suspect she undergo surgery altho its so common in korea~ but she didn. i think~ well at least theres no evidence stating those boobs are fake~ LOL heard a preview of her latest hit song U-GO-GIRL. hmm.. so-so but haiz who cares~ look at those colors inside the MV. poof-ing here n there~ hu listens to the song anywayz~ LEE HYORI ROCKS MAN!

back to the title~ I WANT SHOPPING! oyeash i really need to relieve~ too high man! LOL. online shopping will do? NO! but theres some good stuff~ here goes:

goodies from ★*etsy

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for the girls; love the chain! BUY THIS FOR UR GIRLFRIENDS!

goodies from ★*strapya-world

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so in love with crocs? BUT THEY DUN SUIT U! cos~ U ARE ALL GROWN UP! u look so OMG in those crocs which look o so cute on da little children. GET THEM FOR UR MOBILE PHONES LA! it comes with either a keychain/a pouch!

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too hungry?~ EAT A DONUT ! & schedule ur next appointment with da dentist! :)
{ look at them man! u just hate it when u are soOOOooo hungry, & this is right in front of u clinging onto ur cellphone LOL }

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Jewel Pastry Chef's Sparkling Sweets
{ not only you need those bling blings~ bling bling on da phones too! }

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Oh My Yummy Keitai! Ultimate Sweets Decoration
wheres the "god" right after OH MY~ LOL D.I.Y lovers gonna love these! THEY JUST ROCK! but please dont eat it altho they look damn tempting or u hear those voices calling "eat me~ eat me~"

goodies from ★*thebrowncorporation & linkage fr 18htn@blogspot

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this really comes in handy! WHOO! but do they provide sealing of those eeky eeky smell?

goodies from ★*coroflot & linkage fr 18htn@blogspot

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this is just O SO SWEET !!!! never a better way to start a morning like this~
writing to ur love ones then toast them a bread. spread the jam SPREAD THE LOVE~
{ Designed by Taiwanese Designer Sasha Tseng, this unique messenger won a silver, New era gourmet cooking 2000-2010 by EUPA on June 2004. }

ok off to bed! CLUBBOX WAS FAST ENF~ yay! whoohoo! sian sch again~

1:02:00 AM

something wrong~ 20080712

slept like less than 3 hours on thursday/friday but was so damn high throughout the day. wad has gotten into me?~ LOL! had 2 tests. XML & Computer Graphics. was mugging over XML the night before so thats y i slept less than 3 hrs. glad i studied and beared through. & com g, well thanks to one of my senior's tips. i think it was ok. its kinda similar to gdev. hope i didn fail.

//picture credit : nebulaskin

ok like i said, i was damn high. went to clubroom while waiting for my mum to fetch me. was speaking so loudly than usual, finding trouble with the excos. disturbing them and stuff. AND also bickering with my fellow LION! lol. then got the msg from mum, then didn read it carefully jiu went down to wait. was looking everywhere finding the farmiliar car. saw one! but it wasnt o so paiseh~ then read the sms carefully, it says: we are on the way. WTH! i could have stayed in the cr longer instead of carrying my heavy laptop & bag standing in the o so hot place at the carpark! argh!

//picture credit : Fishermang
{ i couldnt find a nice looking lion so use this instead. the kitty look so innocent, lol }

then came back do this do that, on computer. went to my blog, then found imeem player changed to o so damn ugly. buay tahan so went to change to loudfusion. wah seh man~ LOUDFUSION SO MA FAN!!! argh~ but the display is nicer la. but click here click there, nothing comes out. DAMN IT ! n its not very user friendly. or maybe i'm just plain stupid. LOL haha ok then forget it! went to photoshop some dbsk stuff. made some icon colorings & did a wallpaper. dese days keep doing wallpaper haha destress ma~

my personal fav was 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 12. LOL so many~ haha if u use them, pm me for the originals/or crop it urself { but i dun recommand it, cos theres overlays }credits is well appretiated. once again, C&C are welcomed! wondering wad does Ile de la Cite means right? LOL, i dun know either. is franch tho~ i think its a place where TVXQ! when for the photoshoot. ok heres the screenshot of my desktop :) & its the wallpaper i m talking abt~

been to granny's hse dese days cos granny is in town. you know, girls at this century are so into getting themselves as slim as possible like for no reason~ but haiz, i was warned, ya warned! by my doc to slim down like dunno how many times, my parents are also scolding me. i have to slim down or else later my heart cant take it and bla bla. omg~ i have a reason! but yet i dun care abt it. no motivation, i told my granny. then after that she said, i'll give u $2000 if i slim down to 52 kg~ OMG! the prob is, i dun even know wads my weight now~ LOL but i think its ard 60~ OMT~ the 2000 dollar is just so appealing~~ ok enf of talking crap. lets end.

TAKE CARE PPL! MUG HARD~ ITS THE END OF SEM 1 SOON~~ CRIES!

7:37:00 PM

charlene 需要心理医生。 20080707

the picture is already nice but i just had to ruin the picha~
//picha credits: toy_camera & jewelry//10min//i dont want to grow up~~

o first thing, i switch the locations for the tagboard and the advertisements. sry for any inconvenience. i also find it real weird n so out of place but haiz i have to~ sry!

well i think cos of my previous post, i receive alot of attention. be it good or bad. thanks to FMO publication! thanks to EXCOs! thanks to my SENIORS! thanks to my FRIENDS! thanks to my JUNIORS! your care and concern really make a difference. rest assure that i m really fine now. cos i blurt it all out on the blog so ya m relaxed, m cool too! really thank you! & its gonna be long again, sorry!

the last post is just a common practice of mine. i did like many times b4. trashing it out ALL OUT~ well this time has gotta be the most serious one. so i guess the outcome, the consequences, the price to pay is doubled or even tripled. expected that. this just a bad habit of mine. though i felt better, but i was just being selfish. just a moment of anger, all gone all ends. but i'm still as stubbon and still not regretting it. ppl asked why am i doing this? what am i trying to do? trying to prove what a brilliant person or like those are mention, prefects? what do i gain? all these questions startled me but cool~ i have no reasons. i just wanna trash it out. i m not a coward. if ppl claim that i am just a coward just blogging these out, ask ard. in real life, i scold like this as well. i think the previous post doesnt targets only BO pub and also quite number of ppl ba. because of it, back to the qn, i have gained nothing. i lost even more. i lost friends. some true friends. just cos i am so stubborn so stupid to uphold those values that i believe is true. i think in future sth really need to happen to me to make me change the way i feel. hoping till then its not too late. i thought of this when i was chatting with gy. gy thanked me. i think i shld thank him too.

i learn it the hard way, i want those ard me to learn it in a easier way. its just vulgarities, its just a tone, it already killed so many. imagine, you end up in hospital, end up being punished, end up doing numerous killer push ups, end up fainting in the toilet. it did not happen to some, but it did happen to those some that the some dislike. some say its just a waste of time, you have gained nothing. is the way we teach or the way you learn? both right, both wrong. we teach, are you willing to learn? you learn but isit too late for us to teach? are we really at the wrong? yes. because it takes 2 hands to clap. no. i m perfect, don't touch me! this is so confusing.

do you love those who support you? yes! they support you to rebel, to go against, to scold, to trash it out. u thought for a moment. wow~ i have such good companions, i m not fighting the war on my own. but why? when i am all out, those support, those cheering are just coming from a distance? only when i fought till the end, and they c a change which is to their advantage, they get out from their shields and cheer louder. but think, really think, one is all alone. really alone. the biggest enemy is just opposite of you in the mirror. BUT but but. they say one for all all for one. without them you wont even step out that first step. you are for them, they are for the only you. again! so confusing. humans are such poor beings. they dislike being said they are at the wrong, neither do they like ppl say they are right maybe? it may seems fake, the inner voice tells you. we just dont realise our mistakes. because the more you go on with life, you have made plenty. charlene wants to dream. charlene needs a shrink! charlene WAKE UP!

stories, blog posts written on their blogs, i just purposely want to see their reaction? or am i simply caring? whats the real me? you define me. because words, talks just make mistakes, scars deeper. i cant stop them like how they cant stop me. i support those ppl to trash it all out on their blogs. because its their rights, its their privacy. only one can control this one, you yourself and i. am i trying to please when i support you? am i trying fake that comment i made on you? am i trying to be a lousy bitch who just dont realise my mistakes and how much i know i have hurt you but i just want to hurt you more so that i am protected? am i am i am i? define, explain, elaborate. my english sucks! gy told me if u gonna please all the ppl, you will end up pleasing none. so was it my mistake to try to care altho i said i will not? doubting my words. i think many does. i dont please. i m still a selfish bitch. i want to please myself. how sick am i~ good deeds are forgotten, humans only rmb how they are harmed most of the time. is that true? ppl tried to explain, but it ends up explaining more and more. so is my another mistake for trying to explain? people wants to forget it, so should i too? inner voice : YES ! do you have a inner voice?

thanks to those who admit you hate me or still hating me. i am quite honoured actually. at least u bothered to hate me. well i just want to say for me to hate somebody isnt easy. cos i dont hate ppl. it just makes me pay more attention to somebody i dun like. so i say it str8, YES! i dun like you but i still like you thats y i hate. this is how i define hate. and i hate alot of people. that includes my family. sad, to say this huh~

& ppl say we S.I.T. Club ppl shld get a life. on the behalf of 28 other ppl, and oso the ogls who stayed on thruout or who think the same. WE HAVE A LIFE! do you think there will be a chance where friends come tgt to do props, paint big backdrops, talk to suppliers face to face. go thru those proposal stages. and harsh vetting sessions? we may suffer but at least we stayed on. we did not give up. not giving up is a living! only those who cant find a life in S.I.T. Club has no life ! cos

1. u dunno how to get a life from this life.
2. u give up so damn easily like you will in future.
3. u wanna quarrel with me cos i said these things.
4. u dun appretiate the experience.
5. u dunno how to define life which actually u are alive.
6. u must be dead not realising you have a life.

oya for those who are reading this. esp BO pub. altho how much i say to you all. u guys are still my pub. i will still keep the promise i gave to jin hui. those who want photoshop tutorials. pls drop me a msg, email me or whatever. this goes to anyone other than BO pub~ then we set one time to do it. if u guys are still willing to be under the teaching of me this bitch :)

12:31:00 AM

you guys are F**KING GOOD ! 20080705

this goes to those whom think u fit in those criteria. this gonna be damn long and of course there will be vulgarities. I m just gonna trash these all out cos I cant take it anymore! Even if I know I will get in trouble get backstabbed but I HACK AR ! BTH ! those not interested, u can just f**k off! & there goes the first f word. there will be more coming, i bet.

from the beginning of BO. we seniors are like always there instead of you guys always being there! WTF IS THIS?! Is this your event or mine? you complain about projects, tired, wadever shit la! in my heart i so wanna shout it at your face "SHUT UP!" u think you are the only human having projects, complaining tired, this and that. COMPLAIN N COMPLAIN! YOU GOT SO MUCH TIME TO COMPLAIN BUT YOU GUYS DUN HAVE THE F**KING TIME TO PRODUCE WORK! you guys complain n complain. SO WHAT?! i have that too! I HAVE DOUBLE YOUR STRESS! I HAVE DOUBLE YOU PRESSURE! WHY?! I M IN MY F**KING THIRD YEAR ! | I HAVE THIS F**KING ILLNESS !| I HAVE F**KING PROJECTS WHICH ARE ALL CREDITS HIGHER THAN WAD YOU THINK !| I M F**KING CLUELESS ABOUT MY MODULE COS ITS A NEW LANGUAGE ! | I HAVE F**KING NO TIME COS OF F**KING HUMAN BEINGS !

you guys claim "I HAVE PUT IN EFFORT", "I SPEND F**KING LONG HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS" ya~ u took so long, you put in so much effort to produce what? F**KING PIECE OF LOUSY SHIT ! then when i reject : u guys give me f**king attitude! | u guys think i am so something wrong that i just die die dun want to approve! | u guys say first timer first timer. | u guys give excuses, give "reasons"

One sickening thing. The banner and tee should be finalized by MAY 21 BUT UNTIL JUNE 21 STILL NOTHING !!!! then when I barge in to help you guys finalise. Told you by what time give it to me. You guys said what? How can it be done in such a short time?! WAD THE F**K ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT CANNOT BE DONE WHEN IT SUPPOSE TO BE DONE A LONG TIME AGO ! those deadlines if I didn ask you guys to set. Didn use drastic measures, DO YOU THINK YOU GUYS CAN GIVE IT TO US NICELY?! You guys drag and drag, then everything pile up. When from beginning I ask you guys speed up speed up. Like Janice said, see! Don’t listen don’t hear. This is what you guys get. ALL LAST MINUTE WORK ! and even worse, NOT EVEN LAST MINUTE EFFORT PUT IN! I got ppl criticizing me. Argueing with me. LOOK AT WHAT YOU GUYS HAVE DONE?!

How come some ppl, like jiapei, marcus, janice, nettez, celeste, hq, jin hui, meiyi I told them to do. THEY DO IT ! sometimes it may not really look good, but they listen. They do. THEY REALLY PUT IN EFFORT ! THEY DUN DRAG ! but those names I mention. Some of them, I will not say who. You know who you are. You guys sometimes like want to do, dun want to do. WAD KIND OF ATTITUDE IS THIS?! You guys do only when you are happy. Why wait till you are happy when you never get happy?! I said already, EVEN FOR THE SAKE OF DOING, GIVE IT YOUR BEST !

I TELL YOU! ALL THOSE ARE BULLSHIT ! LOOK LOOK & LOOK CLOSELY! LOOK AT THOSE F**KING DISGUSTING DESIGNS! do you think i will be f**king bothered about giving you those harsh those negative comments if its HELL DAMN NICE?! price your own designs. you tell me those ppl say nice those ppl say nice. I SAY NOT NICE! n its proven. did you hear more negative comments NOT COMING FROM ME ?! WAD THE F**KING HELL M I DOING MAN? trying to save YOUR REPUTATION WHEN YOU JUST DUG YOUR OWN GRAVES AND JUMP IN?! you all say my standard high. TELL ME ?! U RATE IT HIGH OR ISIT ME? define the f**king high standard. I HAVE NO STANDARD ! I ONLY HAVE HIGH EXPECTATION OF MYSELF. Y?! COS I CARE ABT MY F**KING REPUTATION !!!!!! open up ur f**king eyes! u see my graphics. you say its high standard. you rate it. you think of it as high standard. WAD MAKES YOU?! HAVING HIGH STANDARD AS WELL! DOESNT IT ?!

All those rejections. I SAID REJECT THEY SAID REJECT ! but you still want to use it. Take for example the audi tag. Then look at the actual event tag, those which I really approve. LOOK AT THE F**KING DIFFERENCE ! you guys say its nice. WHAT IS REAL NICE?! HQ&Nettez are just like you guys, projects whatever shit, BUT LOOK !!! ppl say is nice. Not only your own ppl, publication seniors, other people. LOOK & COMPARE ! you say u cant compare with me. THEN? COMPARE WITH THEM! ARENT THEM THEY SAME AS YOU?! Like wad snr Daniel said, its so pathetic we have to CHOOSE DESIGNS instead of approving them.

You guys did wrong, and I still have to endure YOUR F**KING ATTITUDE and tell you guys what to do bla bla bla. Help you guys. Teach you how to use the F**KED UP PROGRAM WHICH YOU GUYS CLAIM. Who is real f**ked up? Ask youself! YOU YOU YOU !!! told me you explored. LIKE HELL YOU DID ! eg ask the IC go find one animation tab. Then didn go really find then come ask me where where where?! Then I dun say go trouble other seniors. USE US LIKE WE ARE WHAT?! YOUR SERVANTS ! UR F**KING ATTITUDE UR F**KING EYES OPEN BIGGER CAN?!

We help you guys, what return do we get? STILL YOUR F**KING ATTITUDE, YOUR F**KING DISPLEASURE, YOUR F**KING SON OF A BITCH MANNERS, YOUR F**KING EXPRESSIONS! Just a thank you just a sorry. No more. Still think you are right? When you tell other ppl your story. They support you say u are right cos WHY? THEY ONLY HEARD YOUR STORY! WANNA HEAR MINE?! Defend urself defend urself. Go on defending then. BECAUSE YOUR F**KING BRAINS ARENT LINGERING AT YOU ARE THE BEST ! YOU ARE F**KING GOOD! SO DUN CARE THAT F**KING SNR ! correct? If you really are so thankful, show it through your work! If you are sorry, produce better production to redeem yourself! BUT NO NO NO!!! STILL DISGUSTING STILL OMG SUCKING MAN!

all those wadever shit. I AM ALWAYS REPEATING MYSELF I AM ALWAYS SAYING IT OVER N OVER AGAIN. I AM HELPING YOU GUYS, I AM SAVING YOU GUYS. but what happens? you guys just treat me like a servant, a dog. just call me snr~ then u expect this n that. and you know i will help. AND YOU MAKE USE OF THAT PURE INTENTION TO YOUR ADVANTAGE. nvm~ use me then. BECAUSE IN THE END, IT SHOWS YOU GUYS SUCK! YOU GUYS ARE A USELESS BUNCH OF I DUNNO WHAT!

about the backdrop thingy. keep saying no time no time. i have paste it already. WTF ARE YOU GUYS DOING THERE WASTING MORE TIME?! u all only think of time. only think of getting the damn f**ked up thing up but u didn think of the f**king time that it has to last up there. i give suggestion. wth do you think i wanna give suggestion. ok fine i m timid i m a coward. but at least during the whole time i am at peace. have you guys thing of the lives? the sound systems? the money? the responsibilty? F**KING HELL YOU DO! i didn even ask u guys to wad? take out those tapes n bla bla bla. i just said roll in more layers. THEN? U GUYS COCK EAR ISIT?! then later say this say that. pin pointing on me. i shouted wadever thing i did. what did you guys care about? THE F**KING TONE OF MINE instead of the F**KING CONTENT I WANT YOU TO LISTEN! ah~ wtf la~ you guys are always right? see~ the backdrop lasted throughout wad? "tt f**king snr wth she think she is?" ok fine i m just bullshiting. then think abt it? whose idea was it to tell you guys to put the banner up that way? snr daniel ! ya~~ YOU ALL DID IT BY URSELVES! LIKE AS IF! you guys are just so proud so confident. nothing goes into your ears. Sometimes to the extend that other ppl come apologise to me, come comfort me, realize your mistake instead of you yourself.

During the FMO times, go ask the publication! They got scolding from me, heard those harsh comments, see me give them f**ked up faces. Then complains about me surfacing. Saying me this saying me that. BUT SO WHAT?! They endured, they stayed on. THEY ROCK ! look at what they produce. QUALITY WORK ! THOSE THAT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART I RECOGNISE & APPROVE ! you guys? Giving up, giving excuses n talk so much bullshit! I was nicer when I was in BO pub. I didn scold you guys off. I was nicer in my commenting. NOW LOOK WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS BECOME? F**KED UP SUCKERS!

Why do you guys suck. BECAUSE I SUCK MORE ! i dunno how to teach you all well. So stupid of me to have so high expectation of you guys. You guys have no ideas how many times I have cried to see you guys fail to meet the benchmark fail me, fail us fail yourself! I said I dun care how ppl see me, how you guys condemn me, how you guys backstab me. I MEAN IT ! I DUN CARE! Because, in the end you guys are at the lost! But right now, you guys are just so f**king idiotic, I FIND THERES A NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF NOW! AS A HUMAN BEING AS A PUBLICATION SENIOR ! but again, you wanna backstab, go right on with it. cos if i were to care abt you guys backstabbing me, I WONT EVEN POST THIS F**KING COMPOSITION UP ! Last yr, when pub only left with Daniel and me. We tank it all! We did it all. And we still lend aids to other events. you guys?! HALF OF YOUR PPL SAY ITS UGLY ! listen to them! Dun picture me as the only bad guy. They are all baddies! NO ! WHO ARE REAL BAD?! YOU YOURSELF !

When you guys point your fingers at others, 3 OTHER FINGERS ARE POINTING AT YOURSELF ! so wadever I say above, I M OSO SAYING MYSELF ! I do soul searching, BUT DO YOU?! YOU DON’T! you guys are just so perfect! Are just so good! YOU ARE THE BEST! NOT ! you guys claim you say u do this you do that. SAY ONLY! I dun see it! Your words have NO VALUE AT ALL ! the more you say, the more it irritates me! Anywayz, it’s the end right? No more nagging from me. PERFECTS! ITS OVER! RIGHT?~ LIKE FINALLY ! YOU ARE STILL CAN REMAIN PERFECT ! happy?!

The above are just why I say YOU GUYS SUCK !!! & SUCK BIG TIME !!! I didn trash this whole thing out during the mass briefing. Why? No way m I risking my life, getting agitated again n again. Dun wanna make you lose face. Or well you can just say I M JUST A F**KING COWARD, fine then~ you guys ARE F**KING GOOD anywayz!

this thing will have no end if i continue! THIS IS SO F**KING IDIOTIC!

6:11:00 PM

fishy fishy . . . 20080702

// location; indonesia-batam-kampong bagan
// picha credits; yuf@ace-republic
// device; sony ericsson K800i
// duration; 60min + -
// this is so totally overdue. but haha, NJOY!